The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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