I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
