We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
either way he was missing a nipple.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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