Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
