Sponge bath it is.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
