her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
