so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
