i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
