I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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