My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
