I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
