We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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