She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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