at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
