Don't you send me to vm
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
