Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
