a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
