they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
