last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
