I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
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