i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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