You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
