Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
