I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
