I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
