it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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