I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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