Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
