Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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