I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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