i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Still dying that you shit outside
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
