And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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