I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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