speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
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