I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
