I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
