she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
