is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
