About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
