okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
