Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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