it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
