ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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