I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
