Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
