wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
