the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
