I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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