I feel great
I just peed on a car
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
