i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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